Grateful, yet

I think I'm having a rough day. There is a certain sense of staying strong and having to keep it together here and yet at the same time it would be nice to get a hug. That just isn't going to happen, so I think I'm letting myself have a mini meltdown and then I'll get over myself and get on with life. The last couple of weeks here have been tense. I'm over the moon happy that Egypt rid itself of Mubarek, but there is definitely tension here in Iraq. The situation has been safe here overall, and this weekend was the first time since the 80's that a curfew was imposed. I am not the type of person to go do humanitarian work in the Sudan. I weighed the options before I came based on past knowledge, but things are shifting here. I think things will be ok, but the shooting this weekend was a shock. They killed a 14 year old boy and that type of thing leaves a mark on a city. I've made some phone calls and things are quiet and the city is moving on. I do not think I realized until today how much anxiety I have been carrying. On top of that next Saturday I leave for Erbil to run a huge conference. Freaking out about security, and freaking out and trying to plan an event all at once is a little bit much. Plus I got a 4 out of 10 on my literature review for class. It's hard to find the energy to rewrite the stupid thing and care. I know I will. Just for today I'm going to wallow a bit and take it easy. I'm watching the end of season six of Grey's Anatomy, which is kind of like torturing myself, but it is cathartic. I think I just needed to have a good cry. Except, I could stop now. No really, enough! Just one more episode...