Fallen

Hey look at that, I fell off the planet again. I think my inability to post was directly tied to my inability to function. I was in a funk. I'm crawling out of the funk, which is peachy, but I'm still prone to slippage. I think everybody has a bit of the blues right now. What with the snowing, cold and grey skies. I just want some warm sunshine. Now is the time to go away. Except I'm supposed to be dealing with myself and not running away from my problems. Stupid self.

Problem one- I gained five pounds. Doesn't sound like much, but it is affecting the way my clothes fit. I gained the weight on vacation, but there is no reason why it should not be gone by now. Oh, except for that funk thing and the fact that I am sabotaging myself. Deliberately. It's the same old same old. I know what works, I know what I need to be doing and I am doing it, but only to a point. I made cinnamon rolls for brunch this weekend, so there was powdered sugar in the house. This morning I threw it away. Not only did I throw it away, I poured water into it so I could not pull it out of the trash and eat it- a la Miranda in Sex and the City. Granted I don't know if even that will stop me.

Problem two- Well, it isn't really a problem, but it is a challenge. Next month I am going to visit my friend in the burbs and we are having a reunion with the boy who stood me up in eight grade. Not that I still carry a grudge or anything. Thanks to the joys of facebook there will be a reunion. No pressure or anything. I'm sure I can lose 30 pounds in a month.

That's enough problems for today. I've got some fun and exciting things planned over the next couple of weeks. I'm grateful that my social calendar is full, but at the same time I've lost my joie de vivre. I'll get it back, I hope. Just so you get an idea of how bad it is, the notion of shoe shopping sends me into panic attack mode. Seriously- there is something wrong with me.