Lists

I'm starting to make lists in the moleskin I bought in December, which I have not used. I have a lot of personal things that have been piling up that I have been avoiding (like taxes) and I find making lists to be satisfying. Someone I used to work with would make neat little square boxes next to the to do item and she would then check them off. I've been making my lists that way for years. In fact, when flirty boy and I were running the castle he was making fun of my lists (we had to keep handing them back and forth) and then he admitted he was making the little boxes too. One item on the list was to apply for the Masters in Public Service. That required a whole sheet of paper with neat little boxes marching up and down the side. I've checked off all the boxes and I dropped off my application this morning. The office was a couple of floors up from mine. I didn't even know. Hopefully, they will review my application quickly and I can start classes in April. I want to get back in school because I'm worried about letting too much time pass. Also, because I have to start paying back my student loans! I'm still debating the MBA program but for now this will do.

I've been reading a really great book called The Female Thing by Laura Kipnis. It is a refreshing take on the feminist movement. She has a great statement about men, women and dating; "Now women are dedicated to reeling them back, resorting to complicated algorithms about not accepting Saturday night dates later than Tuesday, or staying on the phone longer than the square root of the number of days since the last phone call". This resonated with me because these rules have been fluttering about in my brain and bashing themselves like moths. Upshot is I emailed the professor and I said I was interested. I tried to make it light and fluffy. I guess I just want the hopes to be dashed because these hopes hurt. I probably did the wrong thing but at this point I've been thinking about it for weeks and it is out there. Now it is up to the Universe.

Belly dancing last night was rough but I'm starting to get the hang of it. I've even noticed that my walk is starting to change a bit. There is a little more sway in it. It is kind of funny because I remember one time meeting Kris downtown and she said she knew it was me just by my walk. People hear me walking by at work and know it is me. I seem to walk really fast! We learned 43 seconds to a dance. After we were done snapping our hips, shimmying, and twirling we were all exhausted. When we heard we had only done 43 seconds we were all about to revolt. When belly dancers attack! Doing this and pilates has been great for strengthening and stretching out my left leg. It is hard though because we stand in front of a wall of mirrors while we dance and I can't help notice my body and the parts that continue shimmying even when my hips have stopped. I think it is the first time in years that I have really looked at myself and it is hard, but revealing.