A different kind of therapy

I've probably mentioned before that I bought the book Apartment Therapy and it is so helpful in letting go of physical stuff that is holding you back, cleaning up and making your space a home. I did the deep clean of the apartment over a year ago and when this fall rolled around I didn't have the energy to do it. Over break I started again and I'm glad I did. It is supposed to take 8 weeks from start to finish, but that is not going to happen. It is going to take me 4 weeks to do the kitchen alone. One of the first things it tells you to do is sit in a corner you don't normally sit in. So, I plunked myself down next to the gold secretary desk in my living room. I was struck at how unfinished the room is. I've made half-hearted attempts at art work, but it is still pretty cold. I also noticed how much anxiety I felt about the orange vases that ex-boy and I had started collecting. I decided then to get rid of them. I've wrapped them up and thrown them in with his stuff. I didn't quite have the heart to throw them away.

Then I started cleaning the kitchen which is a herculean task. It means washing every appliance inside and out, all of the cabinets, including all of the stuff in the cabinets, the floors, etc. I also added washing all of the doorjambs and doors, the windows, and the buffet. I've managed to get quite a bit done, but I still have all of the cabinets, stove, dishwasher, windows and floors. If I just focus on a small part of the kitchen each night I can get it done. If I look at it as a whole I go into a couch coma and I will not reemerge until summer.

A girl from work asked me where I was at in my Internet dating. I had to report that not much was happening and she gave me a bit of a kick in the butt. I need to edit my profile and put some time and effort into this endeavor. I'm reminding myself to look forward. Just keep looking forward. It's a brave new world out there-I just need to figure out how to join it!