Endeavor

When I first started on this, shall I say endeavor, it was from a place of utter hopelessness. I had reached a point that I felt like my weight was suffocating me, emotionally and physically. When I first went to the wellness center the doctor and I talked about what I would need to do, but the caveat was if it didn't work then I would need surgery. I actually wanted her to say nope, you've tried this before so you are going to have to have surgery because then it wouldn't be left in my hands to manage. It is kind of frightening that I would rather chose that, even though I'd read about it, because I was so afraid I would fail.

I went to the doctor this morning and I've lost 40.1 pounds according to their scale. I also firmly believe that compared to my home scale their scale is evil, so 40.1 pounds is good. She said that over 6 months I had lost 13.7% of my body mass, which is actually a little above the average percentage. She pointed out that I was on par with somebody who had weight loss surgery. We discussed my concern about getting 'stuck' here, or even gaining the weight back. I still have to figure out what to do about getting another food therapist, since mine left the wellness center. I think that in conjunction with what I am doing/need to continue doing continuing therapy will help me push back this barrier I've created in my mind.

Going forward I need to:

• continue to eat more fruits and vegi's. Some day's I'm good, and others, not so much.
• continue going to the gym at least twice a week. I've signed up for my yoga class again so I will be doing yoga once a week and going to the gym twice a week. I've found the yoga helps because, even though I stretch when I go to the gym, I still get really tight. The yoga helps me lengthen and strengthen my muscles.
• find a new food therapist, either someone at the wellness center or look into who else is out there. I really like the woman I was seeing, that is after the initial meeting, but it would be really difficult to afford her and she is even further away from work. I think I manage to make it to the gym because it is equally accessible from home and work.
• make my list of activities to do when the cravings hit. When I say they hit, I mean they hit and sometimes I feel like my knees will buckle under the weight of the craving.
• I also need to start taking calcium. Stupid vitamins

I just remembered isn't there a ship named Endeavor...I had to go look it up and it is actually appropriate since the Endeavor was the ship James Cook commanded to explore the world. I'm beginning my only explorations. Now if I could just find a co-captain...